I need to vent without being hurtful, I need to write without an audience, I need to show you the few silly things I find still living for without the regret of them being shoved in my face. I am the first to know that the world I live in is a silly one. It rarely makes sense. I live in a world that frustrates most, and others tell me can't exist. It's a place I've lived most my life, where I believe that, fuck, if I do alright by everyone, things will work out okay. Cody can help fill in the blanks why things turn out the way they do. So can my father, so can, honestly, anyone who has been in a position of authority in my life. It's the people who can swear that they know what's best for me, that end up teaching me the most. I need more time. I need the release without physical repercussions. No, I don't, I already have it, I just need to find the way to express it. Or I already have it. My current frustration stems from the feeling of being taken for granted. I know that I don't ask for much, and I know I take care of the people closest to me, just show me that you appreciate that from time to time. The night I find out my dad might die is not the best time to leave me downtown, or if you want to split hairs, complain about how cold it is/far it is to walk. Just sayin. And I fucking love you more than I have ever loved anyone, you and him, it's fucking powerful, and everyone can tell, just fuck, please go easy from time to time. But, that's just me, I have grown sooo fucking much over the past year, and you know, you are the reason why. Because of you I have done things I never thought possible, but at the same time, the seemingly little fights we get into, can crush my world. I am a very sophisticated 7 year old, Edgar Allen Poe would have been my best friend. I find beauty in the most fucked up things. Ask me sometime without judgment, and I'll gladly tell you. It might be fun.. file:///Users/aaron/Desktop/joker_thedarkknight.jpg

I need to vent without being hurtful, I need to write without an audience, I need to show you the few silly things I find still living for without the regret of them being shoved in my face. I am the first to know that the world I live in is a silly one. It rarely makes sense. I live in a world that frustrates most, and others tell me can't exist. It's a place I've lived most my life, where I believe that, fuck, if I do alright by everyone, things will work out okay. Cody can help fill in the blanks why things turn out the way they do. So can my father, so can, honestly, anyone who has been in a position of authority in my life. It's the people who can swear that they know what's best for me, that end up teaching me the most. I need more time. I need the release without physical repercussions. No, I don't, I already have it, I just need to find the way to express it. Or I already have it. My current frustration stems from the feeling of being taken for granted. I know that I don't ask for much, and I know I take care of the people closest to me, just show me that you appreciate that from time to time. The night I find out my dad might die is not the best time to leave me downtown, or if you want to split hairs, complain about how cold it is/far it is to walk. Just sayin. And I fucking love you more than I have ever loved anyone, you and him, it's fucking powerful, and everyone can tell, just fuck, please go easy from time to time. But, that's just me, I have grown sooo fucking much over the past year, and you know, you are the reason why. Because of you I have done things I never thought possible, but at the same time, the seemingly little fights we get into, can crush my world. I am a very sophisticated 7 year old, Edgar Allen Poe would have been my best friend. I find beauty in the most fucked up things. Ask me sometime without judgment, and I'll gladly tell you. It might be fun.. file:///Users/aaron/Desktop/joker_thedarkknight.jpg I need to vent without being hurtful, I need to write without an audience, I need to show you the few silly things I find still living for without the regret of them being shoved in my face. I am the first to know that the world I live in is a silly one. It rarely makes sense. I live in a world that frustrates most, and others tell me can't exist. It's a place I've lived most my life, where I believe that, fuck, if I do alright by everyone, things will work out okay. Cody can help fill in the blanks why things turn out the way they do. So can my father, so can, honestly, anyone who has been in a position of authority in my life. It's the people who can swear that they know what's best for me, that end up teaching me the most. I need more time. I need the release without physical repercussions. No, I don't, I already have it, I just need to find the way to express it. Or I already have it. My current frustration stems from the feeling of being taken for granted. I know that I don't ask for much, and I know I take care of the people closest to me, just show me that you appreciate that from time to time. The night I find out my dad might die is not the best time to leave me downtown, or if you want to split hairs, complain about how cold it is/far it is to walk. Just sayin. And I fucking love you more than I have ever loved anyone, you and him, it's fucking powerful, and everyone can tell, just fuck, please go easy from time to time. But, that's just me, I have grown sooo fucking much over the past year, and you know, you are the reason why. Because of you I have done things I never thought possible, but at the same time, the seemingly little fights we get into, can crush my world. I am a very sophisticated 7 year old, Edgar Allen Poe would have been my best friend. I find beauty in the most fucked up things. Ask me sometime without judgment, and I'll gladly tell you. It might be fun.. file:///Users/aaron/Desktop/joker_thedarkknight.jpg Comments From Comment AaronPhoto   Comments From Comment AaronPhoto

4/09/09

Pretty much the best day ever. I guess I don't mind the red and white camoflauge as much anymore. =)

These are the words that tear you apart..

Ever seen the "Princess Bride"? His "as you wish" is my, "Just Sayin". And of course not hard enough here, hah believe it or not, everything you'll ever see here is a thought out censored version of what I want to say. =) Imagine that. I got it, and maybe it's all to similar to the shit I always write, but here we go.


By this point I pretty much know I'm unfixable, for god's sake I post the most ridiculous shit weekly on fuckin Myspace, I'm still deathly afraid of falling asleep at night, all my heroes are societies biggest rejects, I throw up at all the wrong times, I need my volumes to be on even numbers at all times, by the government's standards I should be in their top 10, controlled chaos at its best.


After you are done trashing that car let's pull the plug on my father, I don't know weither to kiss em or kill em. They made us who we are right now, and it is what it is, would I be worse off if my biggest problem was what color of car they were gonna buy me? I have blisters on my hand my practicing my new toy, what can I say, it's been a long week.


Just know that if I don't say more, it's cuz I really don't know how, but you still hold the record on making say ridiculous shit, what can I say, you do wierd things to me, hahaa You scare me still for reasons only you know, and that's fucking awesome. Even Jeffery or John or Jack had their reasons, and well I have my own. Don't be sad, I do that enough for the both of us. And I know you don't like when I am, but I'd rather it be me than you, your still kinda my heart. Is that good or bad?, my dvr is still set for noon, so it is what it is right.


Will you come home already so I can quit embarassing myself in front of soo many avid Myspace readers?? Hah, whoops, Just Sayin. Wait, didn't I say something about that at the beginning?? Just hurry i'm starting to feel it back up into my throat, and I hate salt.

I'm gonna tell you where they both are, and that's the point..

Silly and drastic, and by all means, overly theatrical. Only one person knows how much thought I put into all these myspace whatever's. Written for one and read my many. Sleep tight Darlin, I'd much like to kill you in the morning. And for everyone else, take up bingo or some shit, cuz we're not that great. Oh wait, maybe we are. "Fuck off" aren't the right words, but they're the first to come to mind. I mean that, but always, ........just sayin.

Lapse of thinking..

I rode my bike for like fuckin 3 hours tonight, funny that I used to do that almost ever day. Jameson with Tahitian Treat. A lil bit, It helps me write, but I'm not the same chaotic fuck I was 6 months ago. And I have one person to thank for that. Fuck, she melts me. I just heard her voice, and the fact that she can do that to me still pisses soo many people off. I'm used to it by now. I was glad to hear it. And I only use glad because any word I would use wouldn't even come close to explaining it. The things I'm gonna do to you, when you've had your sleep, uggh, beach towel??? Again, am I really posting this as a bulletin? Too late. What can I say. These were all about you months ago, so why stop now? I'm just less cryptic these days. Haha, check my top friends, that's huge, hahaa. So yea, I miss you a lil bit, and anyone that takes the time to read this, can sit on some brass knuckles, cuz if missplaced mine, I know you have 2 back-ups. Just sayin. Deathblow baby. If you don't know what that means, just ask me. Think self titled. And if brass knuckles aren't your thing, I'm gettin pretty good with the butterfly knife, what? whoops? Did I just say that? Come ask me sometime.


Hah. I miss you more now, than I'd ever admit tomorrow. It happens.